So it's true. I. Am. Thirty. It was a "part of nature" like I tell Liam all the time about so many things. I understand it's not 40, or 5. But damn, I'm not in my twenties anymore.

It's an odd feeling. I can't deny that, does everyone feel this way? Or does everyone think it's really normal? Because I was pretty happy and content in my twenties. Especially in my late twenties. Life is so different. I'm tired a lot. I drink coffee, I take antacids, I drink wine. (are the two related?)

So for the actual day I wanted to be out of state, So I flew to Nashville TN, y'know like ya do. My brother, my sister-in-law and my so princess nieces live there so that was my icing. I love my brother like nothing else. And his wife and kids are amazing. It was a fantastic time, albeit crazy. Between the four of them running a muck and us all trying to catch up and enjoy some drinks and time it was madness. But that beautiful family madness i've always chased. Things in my family felt so small for so long, and now with the four little ones, my Liam and Desmond and Natalie and Ella, everything takes a different shape. I spend my birthday with my brother and then with the family when we went out to dinner and my brother and sister in law ordered 30 year old sparkling wine. It was delicious.

I now sit here, tired as all get-up. I spent last night with my best friend of all friends talking until 5am. Me who goes to bed at 1130 MAX or every now and then Paul keeps me up until 2 or so, I was up until almost 5am. We just talked. As naturally as we talked when we were 14. No matter now much things change so many things stay the same. For that, I am more thankful for. No everyone is as lucky to have friends like I do, a husband like I do, and children like I do.. while they are all imperfect and I am so majorly so... they love me. Isn't that amazing? when I feel so down and feel so worthless I have a fleet of those who do believe in me. I understand for that I am a billionaire.

And I'll take that roll of the dice and hold my cards, 'cause damn, they are good!

So it's been more than a minute. I've often thought of entries as I'm falling asleep or running but then never take the time to come back here. It took me more than a minute to even figure out how to log back on here. so much in my life has changed, and yet so much is still so very much the same.

I have two beautiful sons. Two. I've gone from thinking I might never have a child, to having two. I feel more than lucky, and yet in the this luck I find so many challenges. My life has shifted in ways I never thought possible, I'm different. My focus is my children. Yes, I'm still a nurse, I work two days a week and five days I'm at home with my boys. In so many ways it's wonderful. And in so many ways it's hard. At work I wonder about my children and miss them terribly. And at home I think of all the other things I want to do in my life but find no energy, drive or time to pursue much of anything beyond my children. I know this time is fleeting, before I know it they'll be gone with lives of their own and now, NOW is my time with my boys while I'm still numero uno. Which I must say, being numero uno, is pretty nice. Don't get me wrong, it's a lot of pressure! But when they run towards me hugging and kissing me, it's better than an oscar. Though I've never won an oscar to compare!

As for my husband, Paul so much is happening in his life it's hard to know where to start. He's at University of the Arts in Philadelphia, finishing up and has started his own business which is a full time job in and of it's self. Which is such a blessing, but stressful as his time is divided. I am very excited for his future, and ours, him growing and doing more only makes us stronger as a family unit and as a couple. This June we'll have been married 10 years. TEN years. When did that happen? And then again was there a time before Paul? We've been through so much and have been striving and working and toiling away... It's strange to look back at all the years. But I tell you this. It is most exciting to look forward and dream about what is to come. And that's it, right? That's important. If we already did everything and conquered every obstacle, why keep going? There would be nothing to talk about!

Anyhow.. I'd keep going, and I know I should.. but I just can't.. I want to promise to come back and write more, thinking that some day I'll be interested in what I thought in my "younger" years... but I just don't have anything else I feel like formulating at this moment.. so while I hope to be back, I can't promise. But dear journal.. I do always come home.

Wow.. so yeah updates are infrequent. I'm only taking a few minutes here.. time is very much of the essence.

I would like to smack myself for every time I complained about not having enough time before kids. Because now that they are here, and they are so lovely and wonderful but that's for another paragraph or entry.... I take each 10 minute block and make the most of it. Getting a baby and and a toddler out the door is a feat. And it takes great will power. Their schedules are always swirling in my mind of who needs what and when. It makes meeting people out with them confusing. I talk and yet when "listening" or even talking I am watching the boys thinking about the next step.

Desmond is now 8 months old, Liam is 2.5 years old. It is amazing looking at the two of them and to think I thought I might never have one. I love and kiss them daily and tell them how special they are to me. I spend time with them, I'm home more than I'm away now. Which is good and bad. I want a career, I want a life outside of them and yet I want to be there for them and be a huge part of their lives as little ones. I've heard the plight of "working mothers" before but never understood it. Now I do. I love my job, I love being a nurse. I want to go so much further and yet I worry about being too distracted from my boys. It's a constant balance.

I think back to being pregnant with Desmond and it's hard to imagine. I know I was uncomfortable, I know it was hard caring for Liam and working, but I can't quite remember, even now just 8 months out. I feel so lucky for having that feeling of a baby inside me and for being so lucky to be pregnant and to have everything turn out okay. So often I care for families where things weren't okay, like were very very bad and my heart aches for them. I'm lucky.

In addition to the work/parent balance I've taken on getting myself into shape. I'm down 30lbs, more than half of what I want to lose, it's a great feeling. I'm so excited to be at the right weight again... I haven't feel like myself in so long... between miscarriage, pregnancy, nursing and post-pregnancy my body hasn't been my own. It may seem so trite to complain about after I've just said how lucky I am.. but I guess as a dancer/post eating disorder survivor it's present in my mind.

God, this is so undirected and half thought out... I might as well stop now.. perhaps later I'll have a moment and one though and be able to record it, for now.. what the hell I'll post this!

This post was brought to you buy overwhelmed mother after one glass of shiraz!

Oh life.. It is officially the most depressing month of the year. Especially so if you have a toddler. No one told me how cooped up you could feel with a toddler and baby in the wintertime. I miss our days at the park so much. I miss leaving the house without clearing the car and hauling a car seat and holding my toddler's hand making sure he doesn't slip on the ice. We were really in a rhythm last spring/summer... staying in isn't fun for Liam, and isn't fun for myself or Paul either!

But I know spring will come and I know days like these will be behind me so so quickly. I am always someone who has struggled with process. I want things done. I'm the anti-procrastinator. I do the assignment the first night so it isn't hanging over my head. This thinking is great in college, not so great with babies. I love Desmond with all of my heart but ache to hear him speak to me, run up to me. Then I feel guilty like I've wished away his infanthood. But I'm so curious as to who he is going to be, I want to know him! I guess that can be a natural thought, right? I don't miss Liam's babyhood, I love who he is now. I love his ideas. I love that when he cleans up he sings the clean up song that I sing to him. I love that he says, "I wove you too Mommie" back to me when I tell him I love him. I love that when we are out he understands my tone when I tell him to stay by me, and I love it even more when he takes my hand without a word so that I'll walk with him somewhere.


So much is in process right now. Paul is still in school. I'm at a job I for the most part love but I need to work toward my graduate degree, work other places and see different things. I need to know where I'm headed.. am I to be a practitioner or a professor? Those are the obvious choices.. am I missing something? Of course where I go with my masters isn't a sentence, I can change path and do different things.. just it weighs on my mind of what to do and where to go. At the same time being a wife, mother, daughter, friend, etc... I know within myself I wouldn't be happy to be a stay at home mom, but at the same time it's very hard for me to balance what I want career wise and what I want for my children.

I started looking into pre-school for Liam. I can't even fathom driving him somewhere and leaving him there. I guess it would get easier once I've actually done it... but since he has been born I've only left him with my husband. And I leave when he's sleeping.. I've never had to say goodbye.. I'm struggling with only the thought of it! Because I might hold back and wait until after he turns 3... At the same time I know he needs pre-school and would really enjoy it.

I could drone on and on about more thoughts swirling around in my head but I think I'll take this opportunity and curl up with my book and some wine before falling alseep. Because it's winter, and what better to do?

I think that is important to remember in a marriage.  But oh so difficult... and it's especially trying when you those around you who seem to effortlessly live in wonderful marriage.  Sure you know you aren't behind closed doors where it might not be as rosey.. but you've seen enough to see that it's nothing like your union.  Your union's cracks make noise, people notice.  I think the main difference is that I met my husband at at time in my life and in his where everything wasn't going well.  And where both parties were massively immature.  We both had the credo, "All you need is love"!  Sure, it's the most important ingredient, but it ain't the whole biscuit.

Now after 9 years together we've suffered some growing pains.  Nothing has turned out remotely as we saw it.  Some things for the better.  But it makes it very hard to have a union with someone after 9 years of massive change and growth.  Between the jobs, college, miscarriage, infertility, music, children, and money a lot has happened.  There have been some bigger cracks brought to the surface in recent weeks. I won't dive into the details of the nasty moments, but lets just leave it at the fact that this union was in question.  Now we have talked, agreed to work on our marriage, and ourselves.  I really think counseling would do us well to further help us along but with two small children , jobs, and school that isn't much of a reality right now.  But then I think maybe I need to make it one.. I always feel that way when we are in a heated moment.. then it dies down and I think we can get through.  

I signed up for a sitter service looking for a baby sitter.  We used to have a girl we loved come and watch Liam, I was confident in her and felt safe.  Having a total stranger scares the crap out of me.  I keep reminding myself that it's normal to be nervous and normal to have a babysitter.  I wrote an email to one girl who replied to my posting so we'll see if she wants to meet up.  We need a babysitter so we can get out and have time together to become a couple again.  My parents watch the boys here and there, but I don't want to use them too much.  They watched the boys all day once, Oct 2, so I won't ask them to do anything for awhile.  

What feels so good at this junction is the fact that we are complete, here and complete.  I have two beautiful boys.  They are perfection.  I love that I got two.  I don't think if Desmond hadn't just happened on his own (or so it seemed!) that we would have ever had a second.  I love now that they have one another.  Now from here I can work on my marriage, my children, my career and know that the part of my life dying to have a baby is over.  Pregnancy wasn't easy to say the least.  Start with the fact that I've been pregnant 4 times and have two children.  Then add in two big babies, the second being 10.4 lbs.  The months out of work caring for them, the nursing and so on.  I love them but it's a crazy time of life.  I'm ready to build towards vacations to DC, or Disney with two running boys.

Gosh.. I'm all over the place.. it doesn't help that I keep getting up to do different things around the house... Perhaps I should just get up to bed.

Anyhow.. just some thoughts for tonight..

Well my brain is a bit scattered right now but I'm going to just write out some thoughts...


Saturday was my baby brother's wedding.  It was beautiful. It was held on the grounds of a historic museum in town at sunset.  They wrote their own very touching vows.  I balled the entire time.  I couldn't stop looking at my brother and thinking about him now as a man.  A man with two little girls, a wife, a house and in another state.  He has found a wonderful woman to call his own and has the most beautiful twin daughters a man could ask for.  And he cried, which sets me off.  My brother and I had our fights when we were little but I've never been able to handle him crying.  So seeing his emotion on this very special day made it all the more.  The reception was lovely, delicious food, dancing, and complete with him singing an original song he wrote for his bride.  He played the song on Paul's grandfather's guitar.  It was so very sweet.  In the week prior I got a chance to bond more with his now wife and I love her.  She and I have a lot to bond on, and get a long very well.  For that I know I am so lucky and thankful.  

On a sorry note the past week brought up deep trouble in my marriage.  Things are rocky, and have been for a long time.  Things now are patched up with promises on either side to make time for one another and to work harder at our bond.  I know most of it stems from lack of working at this bond and that with some work we can get through it.  We've taken a hard road of doing things.. married young, while I was still in school and just as we started our family Paul went back to school.  I don't regret starting our family, I think as much stress as it has added it will only add to it's strength, plus Liam is such a gift, as is Desmond.  But balancing a two year old, a two month old, my career, and Paul's school is a challenge.  I know how hard life was the first year of Liam, so we are going through that again with a newborn, and now a toddler.  Part of the job of now is getting though and still trying to savor and enjoy the moments of our boys growing.  I don't feel much like going more into that...

Desmond is doing so well at sleeping at going through the schedule, the difficutly I've been feeling as of late and especially today is Liam is starting to act out more.  More vocal and more explosive if he doesn't get what he wants.  I think he is feeling frustrated at having to wait at times while Desmond nurses.  Then he gets into trouble and I'm angry.  I don't always handle it gracefully, and that reflects through Liam.  I told myself this morning I would work through their naps today so I could get more done.  But now as they are both sleeping I'm thinking I need a nap just to recharge from morning.  Just to try and reset myself so I can better deal with the stress of Liam's behavior.  So I think I am actually going to lay down now near Desmond's baby seat where he is napping and try and re-collect myself before the afternoon/evening arrives.  This is the reality right now.  As much as I want to get all these things done while they nap I can't do all I want.  If I make myself a little more mentally stable I think we will all benefit from that much more than we would a clean kitchen floor.  I guess I'm trying to convince myself that it's okay... 

Skipping around...

 My grandmother and great aunt have been visiting for the wedding and to see baby Desmond.  They were to return to California today, however my great aunt is sick.  She is at the hospital now, they are running some tests to see what's up.  So looks like they'll be here at least another day or two.  I hate this extra stress on my Grandmother and of course hate that my aunt is sick.  I love them so much.  It's amazing how much closer I am to my grandmother now.... I didn't get to see her that much growing up since she was all the way in CA, but now we've really had a chance at some long talks and I am so amazed at the woman she is.  She is really a very special person, different from me and the same to me.  She is so strong and so full of live and love.  I truly admire and love her.

One more thing...

Paul and I, as I'm sure I've documented here, love going to the PA Ren Faire.  It's hard to explain exactly why we like it but it's a tradition for us to go.  This Saturday my parents are going to watch the boys so we can go.  I hate to leave my 10 week old baby, but I also know we really could use a day together.  I think I could use a day away from the boys too.  I'll miss them and re-charge and be ready for them.  

Well I am going to lay down now, recharge, then get up think about all that is good through out this stress and savor these moments.  In little bit I'm adding work to the mix, so I have to be ready for that.

They always say you are never ready for this... man is that right.. but I wouldn't change it.  I really wouldn't it.

So Desmond John Chaplin arrived on 07/17/2010. That's right, on his very due date. Pretty amazing. It was quite an adventure. One that included natural child birth. Oh yeah and he was 10lbs 4oz and 22 inches long. It all started like this:

Here was 39 weeks 6 days pregnant, at work. It was a rough day. I worked the day prior and Paul asked me to not work the next day. But I was determined to work up until this baby came. So off I went in the morning. I had been having contractions for weeks, in week 39 they had gotten stronger and I noticed about mid-day that they seemed to get even stronger, and perhaps more frequent. I didn't time them but when a nurse offered to finish my shift for me I broke down and accepted the offer. I felt done. And also felt I wanted to be closer to home and to my hospital. So I gave her report and hit the road. I started having more contractions in the car, about every 10 minutes. I got home and went for a walk in town with Liam and Paul, they moved to about every 6 minutes. They kept coming and coming, not crazy strong but were building. I called the doctor at about 8pm, I didn't want to put Liam down to bed and wake him up an hour later to head in, plus they warned me that second babies come faster (OH YES THEY DO!!). I figured we were on our way to a baby that night or early the next morning. So off we went...

Get to the hospital, I'm 3cm, 50% effaced and contractions are every 2 minutes. They aren't crazy strong but I figure they are about to pick up. They however don't. They settle out. I'm so upset, embarrassed, and tired. They were bad enough to keep me up at night but not enough to keep dilating. So we were sent home in the morning. The contractions got worse in the morning and mid morning. But I kept going, vacuuming, dishes, laundry, so on... they started to get closer together. I tell Paul that the baby is coming that night. He heard me but after my false alarm the night prior and a record of a false alarm with Liam he doesn't get excited. Now it's about 5pm, the contractions really hurt now. I can't really talk much in between and I'm crying when they hit, trying to hide my pain from Liam so he doesn't get scared. Paul is "staying calm" slowly gathering our things.

Now I'm hanging on furniture with every contraction. I head to the bathroom and it seems as if my water has broken. When it broke with Liam there was no mistake, this time I wasn't quiet sure but my contractions were CRAZY!!!! My parents had arrived with pizza for dinner, the very pizza I ate during labor with Liam (yeah, through the pain both times I ate a slice, you really should try this pizza!!) My mom being an OB nurse tries to hurry Paul a long. He states, "I'm in control!". I remember thinking he's nuts.

So my parents load Liam into the car, with him out of the house I scream through a contraction or two. I'm at the door way, Paul, my darling husband is looking through our DVD collection for a movie to bring. I tell him we need to go that I need an epidural. He says, "Well then hold your peace" (over picking out a movie) and I reply, "I'm holding it."

I called my doctor's answering service (since we were out of office hours). I spoke to a woman at the call center who asked me the usual information, how far along, name, and phone number. I started having a contraction as I was giving my phone number and when she read it back to me it was all wrong! I breathlessly replied, "NO!" and spit out the numbers again. It was kinda funny..

We get into the car, sitting is horrible. Paul calls his mom while we are in the car but quickly gets off the phone, I can't talk at this point. We live 5 minutes from the hospital but I swear it took FOREVER! I even threatened to get out of the moving car if he didn't step on the gas!! The doctor calls while we are in the car and I barely remember what she said, but she said something like, are you on your way yet and I replied that oh yeah, we are almost there! I wasn't waiting for them to call me back, I knew this was it.

I walk into the ER and state, I need help. A woman appears with a wheelchair. I sit down and immediately jump out of the chair. It hurts to sit! She starts timing the contractions, and yells to a police man that they are less than a minute apart. He runs to get the elevator. She yells at me over and over again to get into the chair. By the time we get up to the unit I'm walking. My doctor is there at the the door, she looks at the woman who helped me up there and says, "She walked up here?" and the woman replied, "I couldn't get her to sit in the wheelchair!!" I put my arm around here and say I'm ready for the epidural. She laughs and says, "Let me check you first"

I enter the the room and my nurse from when I had Liam was there! I was so happy to see her, I'm sure I told her so. She asked if I needed help getting into a gown, I said no. Then promptly had trouble getting my clothes off! But there I was striping my clothes off while a flurry of people enter the room. I lay on the side of the bed to get checked, she says I'm 7cm. They attempt to get my information and to get a blood pressure (no luck, I can't stay still). And I can't stay in the bed, I'm standing moving my feet and holding onto whatever I can grab. My nurse, Nina, wants to get my IV in so I can get my fluid to get my epidural. She says she'll wait until the contraction lets up, indicating I need to stop moving, I say I can't and she just needs to do it. I hold my arm out and Nina being an awesome nurse gets the line in. I told her to "Let her rip" referring to the fluid. Everyone laughed, but I was so serious! I asked them to go ahead and page anesthesia! That I was ready! Paul was back in the room at this point after dropping off the car.

Then I'm standing, they were trying to get the monitor on my belly, without success. And I felt this pressure sensation. I knew it was important to mention. I look at Nina and tell her, "I feel pressure" and she says, "There are beads of sweat on her lip, get the doctor" to another nurse. I knew this meant time for baby. The doctor is there quickly, she tells me I have to lay down so she can check me. I literally tilt down and onto my side on the bed, like I said it hurt more not to be standing and moving. She said, "You're 10. You can do this"

Paul says, "Oh my God" and I think I said "No!" not no as in I couldn't do it, but no, I was waiting for my epidural! This was all so fast! But then I remember looking out the window while the bed flew apart and the doctor and nurses scrambled to get gowned up. And I remember thinking I'm doing this in one push! Which I almost did.. it was something like 3 or 5 pushes (LONG pushes!) and I asked repeatedly for pain medication as soon as the baby was out. This gave everyone a chuckle that I was still so concerned about the pain, but hey none of them had natural child birth! So as I was pushed the nurses had to yell at me to bend my legs (pushing hard made me straighten them) and they had to get me to stop pushing when his shoulders got stuck. That was HORRIBLE. I could feel her trying to get him out. But he did come out. There he was on my belly. I don't remember what he looked like, I was just in shock. They took him away quickly because he was a little blue and needed some blow by O2. Just for a few minutes and then he was in my arms. OH and my pain medicine arrived!

I was stunned. Here I was with a baby in my arms. It was all so crazy, fuzzy. The sun was setting and here was this beautiful big baby boy. Just as I stood in shock at the positive pregnancy test in November (and still do, it's still in my bathroom!). I looked upon this baby in disbelief. He looked like a cherub, a perfect round face, nostrils in the shape of little hearts. My Desmond.

And his dark brown hair... beautiful. I had this feeling the whole time I would have a baby with brown hair this time, I have no idea why... But I was right.

My eyes are watering at the thought of his birth. As I hear him quietly sleeping in his little seat near my feet. He is perfection. I feel so complete to have my two perfect boys. My Liam a curious vibrant toddler and Desmond my baby boy man.


Nothing about Desmond was planned or went as planned but turned out all the better for it. While I won't lie taking care of a toddler and a 2 month old now is challenging I wouldn't have it any other way. Three short years ago I suffered miscarriages and thought I would never be a mother. Now I have my two boys! This time is fading as I write of it and soon both boys will be running up to me with open arms. I love watching Liam and Desmond together and cannot wait to see their relationship develop in the coming months and years. They are my children. My boys. My sons. And I am so lucky to have them and my husband in my life. I don't deserve such great things but I'll gladly accept the gifts.

In life things happen, they don't make sense. Sometimes you hit the jackpot.

Liam and Desmond: I love you both wholly with all of my heart and soul. For you both I will do my best as a mother to show you this love, to take this love I have for you both and help you both to grow and thrive. And to enjoy your moments, your precious moments of life that you will share with me as you grow into men. For this I am so thankful.

I know this entry is scattered and needs editing but before I lose it or forget details I'll post it as is.

That's all for now..

I have so much to post and say, very often.  But I don't find the time or take it to write.  I find other things to do or think of another time that I'll write and I don't.

I'm stressed right now... with Paul starting at a new University, the baby and Liam time is hard to come by.  But I should find the time to record my thoughts.

I need to record the experience of labor and delivery of baby Desmond.  It was pretty incredible.  I had him without drugs, not exactly my plan but it happened that way.  He arrived on his due date July 17, at 752pm, 10lbs 4oz 22inches long.  He is beautiful and is smiley and full of love.  I will write more about him later...

One thought I want to record...

I sat outside for a moment today when both babies were sleeping.  It had been a hard day.  I looked a tree and noticed buds, I got excited for a moment thinking about the flowers about to bloom.  Then got sad remembering it's almost fall and they won't bloom until spring.  I felt myself sinking... Then remembered the blooms are a promise for spring.

A promise.

I took a breath.

A promise.

I'll hold them to it.

So I've had another long drought. I don't really have a valid excuse, the list I would give doesn't seem to stop others. I feel sad that I haven't journaled the way I did with Liam's pregnancy. I feel mommy guilt for things I did while pregnant with him that I don't do now.

But yet I am calmer. This baby boy, yes baby boy, has a much calmer host than his brother. I won't say I haven't had some panics, running into the hospital or office in tears fearing the worst, because I have. This pregnancy like the last has had it's snags. From some spotting, placenta previa, transverse lie, and so forth... But baby has always looked healthy and well, big. last estimate at the end of my 37th week was 8lbs 15oz. Of course I know these estimates are just estimates but if you take one look at me you know I'm carrying no peanut.

So we did decide to find out the sex of the baby this time. I had a lot of mixed emotions with it. Paul was firm in his decision to find out. I considered letting him know and no one else, but that didn't feel right so I decided to go for it and find out too. It's a different experience to know it's a little boy in there. It some ways it's great to imagine how our family will be, picturing my family of my two little boys. In other ways I miss that big mystery nagging at my sleeve. Although I guess it wouldn't have been nagging, they ordered monthly ultrasounds to make sure his kidney doesn't have the same issues as Liam's kidney (it doesn't). And the kidney dilation is a boy thing.

Here I am now nearly 39 weeks pregnant, awaiting the arrival of this baby boy! What a different end of pregnancy from Liam. With him I was so ready and desperate for him to arrive I did everything and anything to induce labor wanting him so badly to arrive. This time I won't lie, I'm drinking my raspberry tea, staying on my feet and I've had some hot sauce to try and convince baby boy to arrive but I'm enjoying this exciting dance of the when is coming. I get excited when I see signs and think about making the walk up to labor and delivery. Then I get nervous, I guess because the memory not yet two years old of what labor feels like and post-labor is still pretty strong! As exciting and exhilarating as it is it really f'ing hurt!! Then I was exhausted for what felt like months. So I guess I'm enjoying these last days a little more than last time. Which I think is a wonderful thing since this will be the last time I'll be sitting here as a pregnant woman.

Now my mother on the other hand is desperate for this baby to arrive! Who would think someone other than the mother would want the baby to arrive.

I have so much more to say! But my friend Tracey called and I gotta run!!

It's been roughly 13 weeks since I've last written... I confess writing now I don't actually have enough time to update... except I really must update a very important new detail at this time...

I'm pregnant! Yeah! Pregnant! I'm due July 17th!! That means I'm 14 weeks this Saturday! Hard to believe... I have much to say, many thoughts and a lot going on...

And right now I have a beautiful toddler pulling on my sleeve wanting my attention.. so I must go.. More later.